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February 9, 2012

You Tricked Me, Bob


I have several acquaintances that are really into the running thing. These women amaze me. They're full time moms, some have jobs, and in-between they run 5K's and marathons. What the heck?

I enjoyed sports when I was a kid, but I've lost the edge. Instead, I much prefer to watch them from the comfort of the couch. Turning forty, I knew I was going to have to become a lot more active. I've gone through spurts of speed walking, which I really enjoyed, but with all the full time writing, editing, and Mum duties, I just couldn't be consistent.

Bob yelling. At me.
So last week, I'm watching one of my favorite shows about torture -- you know -- The Biggest Loser, and Bob tells the camera (Me) to just walk a mile every day. And every day, beat the time. I've wanted to get serious about some kind of exercise program since the New Year, so I decided to commit myself to thirty days of walking a mile a day.

 The results? The first day: not so bad. The second day. Well, I had to hurry. The third day… Gosh, I almost got shin splints going up and down the hills in my neighborhood. But my time improved every day. Yay for me! Until day four.

Oh. My. Gosh. Bob tricked me. I had to actually run to beat my time. I can only do that in about thirty second spurts or unless a dog is chasing me. Right? It didn't help that I was wearing those toner tennis shoes that make you walk funny and pummel your arches.

Today, well… my fifth mile. I had to run even more. Being the lazy person that I am, I figured out that if I just ran when the street slanted downhill, I could beat the time and work less. I did beat my time, and I didn't pass out although I wheezed pretty loud. And it hurt.

Darn you, Bob. I have twenty-five more days to "walk" my mile and beat my time. My arches are about to collapse. My legs feel like noodles. And by the way, I haven't lost any weight!

So Bob, my friend, if I'm not running marathons by March, I may have to end this relationship. Or at least drop the challenge. You should have been straight with me, baby!

~Danielle Thorne


Guess who has a new release? Me! Check out DEATH CHEATER, coming soon!




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